Being permanently single makes only a few people happy. But it’s not always easy to find a new love. Here’s how it’s guaranteed to work
I’m sure you’ll agree that single life has some advantages. You can (theoretically) do whatever you want, you’re ready for any outrage, you have time to cultivate friendships, and you’re constantly meeting new people. But then there are those quiet moments when you’d rather do certain activities with a partner than a friend: the TV night, the city trip or cooking together.
How long have you been single: 3 days, 3 months or even 3 years? Minor spoiler: no matter how long you’ve been a bachelor, there’s someone out there for you. You just don’t know it yet. Or: you didn’t know the right strategies to find love until now.
Why am I still single?
There can be as many reasons as there are SUVs in big cities. First of all, it could be that you enjoy being single, but then you probably wouldn’t ask this question. Another popular reason is: I don’t have time. But that is true for very few people. Because you always have time for things that are important to you. Most of the time, fear of rejection, past hurts or exaggerated expectations are behind the constant singing. But all these difficulties can be worked on. Under one condition: you should become active.
How do I find a partner? The 8 best tips for love happiness
1. don’t be desperate in your search
Wait a minute, doesn’t that contradict the active search we were just talking about? No. If you want a partner, you are of course looking for one, whether you like it or not. What I mean is that you don’t seem as if you’re out for a new love at the drop of a hat. Meaning: you think up overly elaborate WhatsApp messages, ask flirts for a second date way too quickly, or even whine about how you’ve been single for so long. All of this comes across as desperate and makes the woman of desire think she’s just the first victim.
2. do not put your ex on a pedestal
Looking back, it’s easy to idealize or demonize the past. Although your ex-partner had quirks, you now compare others to her assets. Or the other way around: she hurt you and now you assume other women act similarly. In both cases, other women don’t stand a chance. Let bygones be bygones, now is the time for something new.
3. don’t judge yourself “I am incapable of relationships”.
If you’ve been single for a long time, you’ve probably thought this sentence before. But in 99 percent of all cases, it’s wrong. After all, you’ve been in a relationship before. If you go through the world with this belief, you can only fail. But if you think positively and with hope, happiness will surprise you. Who knows: Maybe even the woman at the supermarket checkout in front of you is the right one!
4. do something good for yourself
Before you can take care of someone else, you should take care of yourself. Allow yourself what you deserve. For example, finally start that sports program you’ve been wanting to start for so long, continue your education, or lose a few pounds. Progress increases your self-confidence and also leads to you walking through the world with your head held high and being seen.
5. check your demands
She should be sporty, humorous and at least 1.75 meters tall – oh and she should also come to the soccer and blonde would not be bad. Women with such a prey pattern don’t have it easy with you. A partner can never meet all your expectations. For needs that she can not meet, you have buddies or could also take care of before best alone.
6. try online dating
Yes, it takes time and is sometimes exhausting. But for a new job you have to click through job portals, too. Not to mention the effort of applying for jobs. To improve your chances of success, it is worthwhile to create a profile on such dating portals that ask a lot about your personality. So you can avoid in the best case unpleasant dates in advance. In addition, only people who are looking for something serious will register there.
7. become more sociable
The love of your life won’t cross your path while you’re watching Netflix on the couch. Consciously practice activities where you meet other people. Learn a new sport, get involved or take up a new hobby that puts you in touch with others. Not only will this open your horizons, but it will automatically open the door for a potential romantic encounter.
8. don’t give up too quickly
You’re on a second, even a third date, but somehow it doesn’t go smoothly this time? Maybe you even have a disagreement. Just don’t act rashly and throw the woman to the wind. Even in relationships there are disagreements. In the early days, you might put the woman’s behavior too much on the gold scale to check whether you fit together. But everyone makes mistakes, and so do you. Give the matter another chance.
Conclusion: Let yourself be found
You can also make your search for the next great love easier. How? By letting yourself be found. If you hide at home, feeling sorry for yourself and clutching at every straw, you won’t find a woman. Instead, by going through the world with your eyes open, authentic and sociable, you will become visible to women. And in the best case scenario, the best women will approach you on their own.
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